Well, here I am sitting in the basement of my cousins in Caddie. I am no longer in any safe zone. I don’t know people and they don’t know me…. That’s how I felt when I first got here.
Now, I feel like I have been here and a part of this family for at least a year. I help out with Young Life and go to church with the Main’s. I have an excellent cooperating teacher, who has helped me grow immensely. Plus, everyone around here has helped me with something is some form or another. I have been so blessed to move here.
In the midst of this change and outpour of blessing comes change and turmoil for those around me. First, my uncle Dan loses his mom, which has been pretty hard on the family. Then, my principal is fired on the basis of misuse of the computer, which has just taken me aback. And now, my cooperating teacher has cancer in her neck and back. Wow! God certainly is putting me in these situations that I am not sure I am ready for, yet somehow I feel prepared and set purposefully on this mission. It is wild that He is trusting me with all of this.
To top it off, I met this guy. Now, there is nothing yet between us. We have gone on a date and are going to hang out again this weekend, but this is definitely a change of scenery! Yet, it has been so nice to be able to share with him about what is happening and it almost brings me back to reality with all of this.
Overall, I just know the Lord is calling me to trust him for wisdom, endurance, strength for others, and peace. Plus, to trust Him with this guy situation. I am praying that I lean hard on Him, not anyone or anything else.
“I’m embracing all of my fears
I am watching them turn to delight
The very fears which were gripping my mind
Are now the hands shaping and sculpting my dream”
First off, I would like to thank God for how He is moving. I was gripped with fear and anxiety about this trip, but God has certainly lifted those fears. Perfect love casts out fear- How true I have found that.
My God is stronger, My God is healer! So many things are bombarding our lives and I have felt it. God, however, has reminded me that He is in charge and His grace is enough. I don’t need to work to bring His glory. He has already proven Himself worthy over and over again. I am so glad I serve a God who is pure glory and love. I have never felt so much relief as to when I hand it all over to Him.
Be with us as we try to shine your light. Be the center and our focus. Father, you are Holy and good and there is no possible way to explain the joy you provide and the love that overwhelms me every time you touch my heart. Thank you for making me your child. Be in the hearts in those who need to hear you. Draw them to seek. Let them ask questions and thrist over and over again for your love. Teach them that you are jealous for them. That you want them more than they can imagine. Father, bring us to our knees in humility and longing to love you more and more.
It is all for you… NOTHING for self. To You be the glory! To you alone! Amen.
Oh how He loves us. Oh how He loves!
Lord, let your love take ahold of every life here on this earth. Let us deny ourselves and fall so deeply in love with you, that we follow hard after you.
You are amazing God!
Psalm 16:11-You make known to me the path of life; you will fill me with joy in your presence, with eternal pleasures at your right hand.
I just got back from South Africa a week ago and I can honestly say it changed me for a lifetime. Not only did I learn a new culture, but I deepened many friendships. And I gained an understanding what the Lord has for my life. He has so many plans and not everything is completely clear, but I most certainly learned about why he made me the way He did.
I recently have been struggling with what I am to do for the rest of my life. I wondered if I would teach. I wondered if I would stay and work at SAU. I wondered if I would go into sports ministry. I wondered if I would coach full-time. I wondered all these things, yet none of them worked out or standing alone would fulfill what I wanted to do.
While we were in South Africa we explored for quite a bit and the whole time we were hiking or going off into the woods, I was just loving my life. I felt God’s presence and I just felt like I was created to be there and to be hiking. Then, we went on a 12 mile bike ride and that was probably one of my favorite parts of the trip. I, at one point, was up far enough where I was alone and I was taken aback by God and His majesty. I cannot believe how big He is. How beautiful He is. And how much He has blessed me. I could not stop thanking Him and thinking upon all my opportunities, my family, my friends, and many other things. I was in awe. Then it hit me. God made us all to enjoy Him and to praise Him through all we do, and the best way that I connect with God is through the outdoors and spending time out in His creation.
It was then that God presented the idea of combining it all… all the things I wondered if I do, all together. I have a desire to create a Sports Adventure Camp. One geared to college students and high school students. It would be a time of team building through challenges in nature and practice. All of it will be centered around Christ. We would have devotionals in the morning and then after lunch the athletes would spend time with the Lord alone.
I know this is going to take a long time to accomplish, but I know that if this is what God wants, then this is what I want. He wants me to dream big, so the impossible is accomplished and Him alone can receive the glory and that is what I attend on doing.
Plus, I started to read when God Writes My Life Story by the Lundy’s and it really reinforced this. It is such a good book. If you ever have the opportunity to read it, I highly recommend it.
Overall, I am excited to see what God does in my life and where he leads me. I am so glad that He is in control and that I have the opportunity to serve Him.
As Christians we are called to be humble and to recognize that it is all about grace. However, I often take this grace for granted and think that I am a great person. I think that I am qualified and I justify that I am such a good person.
I have done wrong. I have lived for myself and not for you. I have sinned against you and I have put a focus on myself rather than on you and your work.
I believe that society allows us, nay commands us to focus our attention on ourselves. I am currently researching for a paper on self-image and I am blown away by all the self help books and how to improve self and self this and self that. I could not believe it. We are living for ourselves and sometimes we (myself included) make God a God who is here to benefit us, but in all reality we are here to benefit Him.
I must say that God has really made this more and more clear with each day that I live. I believe that God can renew us and cleanse us of all unrighteousness, but first we must acknowledge this focus on ourselves. Even people who do not love themselves often put the focus upon them and their feelings. I believe this is one of the biggest things that God is so sad about. We truly miss the mark and focus on what we want rather than what God wants and how we can work for Him.
I don’t know if anyone else is going through the same thing and having God calling them out for lack of attention and for lack of love, but I am sure feeling the Lord calling me to Him.
I have recognized that as I have not been reading the Word and not spending time giving each part of the day with God. It is obvious. I am tired and wrong hearted towards others. I am more grumpy and do not want to spend time with others.
Thank goodness for Fall Break. This whole day I am have been able to spend time reconnecting with the Lord. I pray that it continues. I pray that we all will have a passion and a craving for the Word. I pray that we would be more thirsty and more hungry for God and for His Word. I pray that we treasure God’s Word and know him better. I pray that each person we contact or connect with that we move with the Lord and work with the Lord for His glory!
All in all, I want to be a person of brokenness who is fully devoted and surrendered to the Lord.
“Jesus was and is the living illustration and certain fulfillment of His Father’s love. The love of God is unconditional, unfailing and will stubbornly pursue us no matter where we go, what we do or don’t do. We cannot earn God’s love because then, it would be wages paid for work done. We will never be good enough to deserve the love of God because God’s love is holy and pure … and we aren’t. God’s love is a gift. All we can do is accept it and rest in Him. God’s love satisfies the deepest longings of our soul and enables us to love ourselves and others.” -Mary Southerland
Honestly, this year has been the best of my college years so far! I love my roommates and I cherish my time with them. I love our house. I love that God is moving in each and everyone of us and we can encourage one another. However, I feel like the academic and social aspect of SAU is starting to wear on me. I love spending time with others and I love to learn, but I have put my quiet time on the back burner and I am beginning to feel it.
God has been teaching me that I need to enjoy Him, along with His creation. If that makes sense. He wants me to recognize Him and fall in love with Him, not just His creation. The past weekend I have been outside almost the whole three days. We had four bonfires and I loved looking at the stars and sharing laughs with my friends. However, today I recognize that I need to be filled in order to pour out. God is love and I want to witness that in all my actions and words.
Right now I am beginning to regain composure and I recognize that I have time to spend with the Lord and to rest in Him to find that genuine love that no one else can give. And I am going to continue to seek on ways to spend time in the Word and in worship to the Lord. I have dedicated my life to Jesus and I want to be sure that I fulfill that promise. It brings so much joy to my heart to know that I have God with me in this journey cause I most certainly cannot do this alone.
So, if you are reading this I want to encourage you to seek God, even if it is just in between classes or if it is just during your lunch break. Watch the difference it makes. Soak up that love so that you may pour out. I have noticed that even when I am frantic, I have a moment to pray. I have time to sit and let God penetrate me, with His whole being.
I pray that you may feel this love and experience this joy. And once you feel it… Pass it on!! We all need love and encouragement. Dig deeper into the unconditional love and know that you are precious.
Summer has come and is near the end. As I sit in my room reflecting on all that has happened these past months, I am astounded at the change I can see within myself. Some for the better and some not so good. I have really struggled to keep the Lord the center of my focus, which has effected me greatly! I have never realized how much I truly am in need of my Lord and Savior as I have over this summer, yet I remained focused on the things of this world and my desires.
Recently, God has been convicting me of my lukewarm love for Him and I was saddened to see the way I have approached many situations and people.
It is weird to think that ministry has drawn me away from my Savior. I was caught up in the busyness and administrative side to ministry that I did not sit down to just be with God. Since Day Camp has ended I have been slightly more intentional with spending time with my Creator, but I must admit that my soul thirsts for my Creator and the 10-20 minutes I spend a day does not even begin to quench that love and desire.
So, where am I in the midst of this change? I am standing up under my God and I am seeking Him, for I have forgotten that it is not about the now, but the eternal that matters. I am not here to please myself or others, for that matter. I am here to serve the one true, living God with all that He has given me.
I have learned that life flat out is terrible without my focus on God’s plan, heart, and desires. I never want to go back to a lukewarm state in my relationship where I think more about myself than what my best friend, creator, and God thinks.
You might be asking yourself what has changed for the better? Well, as you probably already know God is bigger than us and he can move in us, even when we aren’t at our full potential. And God definitely worked in big ways!
I now know I want to work in High School ministry! And I discovered that I can handle being in charge of little boys, they are actually a delight. My love for children has grown and so has my passion for volleyball-as weird as that sounds.
So many good things have come from this summer.
-2 of my campers were saved! (11 total at camp)
-I mentor a high schooler and she stopped cutting!!
-I am less judgmental
-I recognize my need for a Savior and His abounding grace
-That I am not in control and it is a bad idea to try to take ahold of my future endeavors.
-Plus, so many more lessons!
My God is so faithful, now it is my turn to remain faithful to Him and His good works.
I keep asking myself this question. I am positive that I am out of my comfort zone in a few areas and I am really being stretched and I am still don’t quite have a clear direction. I am just letting the Lord guide me, but then again I feel like I have not been as close with Him as I need to be or have been before. I have not sat in his presence and let Him love me. I am done trying to guess why I am here. I am just ready to learn and love people. Thats it. Seek God and learn about others.